D for Damn you diet!

 

You say dealing with a break up is hard?! I say damn, there’s nothing harder than watching your favorite food being served in front of you and not being able to taste it! Now that’s what I call TORTURE! Judging by the fact that I’ve been on a SEVERE diet for the past two weeks, the only thing I can think about is FOOD! I mean it’s crazy! I think I’m losing it! I only have 2 months to lose the extra b*tchy fat, yet I’m not sure I’ll last that long. Everything I get to eat is either salt-less or without oil which doesn’t please any of our hungry stomachs, makes me not wanting that perfect body my dietitian keeps telling me about anymore! For all you women out there on a diet hear this out: I cherish you! Seriously! I don’t know how you people do it but I’m learning, and so far it sucks!! I know that some anorexic people would be reading this article and saying “Walaw shede 7alik”! Well, other than shut up, my reply would be who cares!! I know I tell myself the exact thing every day! That’s the only way to keep me going! I know I sound like someone who eats like a pig! That’s definitely not the case, I just think that food is one of the best enjoyments in life!

When you’re on a diet you always avoid outings especially lunch and dinner plans! Yet sometimes you just can’t cancel! It’s not our favorite plan so we tend to release our anger on others! Especially on those who eat and don’t gain weight! Makes me wonder if those skinny b*tches women are aware of the gift they’ve been given?!

Now, when you’re conscious that someone is on a diet I advice you people not to eat ‘with passion’ in front of them! Even though all they’ll be saying is:”Walaw! it’s okay! Ma bedeya2” ,truth is , deep inside they’ll be cursing you with every bite you take hoping that you choke at some point!

Other than that:

  • Don’t discuss the quality of your food… unless it’s a bad one!
  • Don’t, not even by mistake, try to offer some food because we take it personal!!

“I’m on a diet b*tch! Alzheimer much!?

  • Don’t ask how tasty our food is, and if we’re full, just ignore and move on!

“Salt less, tasteless and all green, yea it was heavenly!”

  • Don’t overwhelm us with the:”Bravo, Shatra!” and whatever follows! We have a mother and we’re not 5!
  • Don’t scream “Waw, you lost so much weight” every time you see us , even if we’re losing weight our brain will still be functioning accordingly, we’re still aware of how fake it’s coming out! Just Stop!

As hard as it is to boycott anything tasty such as pizza, burger and pasta, the hardest part is when you’re favorite reward of the day, like sweets,becomes not part of your vocabulary. When you’re prevented to eat chocolate or anything sweet that’s what happens:

  • You constantly feel down
  • You lose focus, and feel sluggish!
  • You call your ex just for some affection, no matter how bad it ended!
  • You become a philosopher… Just like that!
  • You stare at such pictures for a whole day!

Remember the “Drink up, free your mind”??  That too will not be possible! But of course that’s not stopping me from partying! I find it disturbing yet amusing to be sober among drunken people! Basically that’s what happens:

  • You study everyone’s outfits, men and women, making sure you don’t miss a detail!
  • If you want to forget something, it will be all you think about the whole night!
  • For some reason you’ll be interested in meeting the interior designer of the place because you finally noticed it, even if you’ve been there for the past 4 years!!
  • You can’t send stupid midnight messages, there’s nothing to blame it on!
  • You’re surprised by your tipsy friend’s behavior and you utterly forget that you would’ve done worst if you’re drinking!
  • You can’t meet a stranger, you’ll be fully aware of his /her hideousness and without alcohol it’s not even tolerable!
  • You’ll get back at the DJ for not playing your favorite song and people would be staring at you saying “Chill yo! Just dance”!
  • For some reason, your eyes will catch every single couple kissing, cuddling and even feeling each other, thinking that no one’s watching! Well guess what babes? I saw you!!
  • At 1 am you start yawning and wanna go home!

They say that when you start a diet, this should change your whole way of eating -permanently-! I still haven’t decided on whether to believe that or not! However, if you’re on a diet, it’s important to have a certain goal in mind to keep you motivated. Just make sure you’re not trying to impress anyone but yourself! If he doesn’t appreciate you just the way you are he’ll never do when you’re ass will start looking like Jlos’ !  Whether you weight 110 kilos or 50 that won’t justify who you really are! Losing weight should only concern you! The only target you should have in mind is your health and the sense of satisfaction whenever looking in the mirror!

P.S: I was looking for some pictures, when I typed the word ‘delicious’ and got this one:

Happy dieting! Cheers Ladies!

Marguerite Rahal

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15 Comments

  1. stephanie says:

    Glad, I am the first to leave a comment ..
    well Marg, i thought you’re right when you said sometimes its exaggerated when people on a diet act hilarious and loose it! its the nature of us human beings… doing too much effort to keep away from any product that has a grain of sugar in it …can u imagine ?

  2. Addoura says:

    so true darling&i hate diettttt even if I pass all my life doing it :(

  3. Marylouise says:

    Superbly illuminating data here, thnaks!

  4. Carole says:

    hahahaha no way! so you hate me now ehh !! i eat a lot but i exercise !! so u shouldn’t hate me :p
    hilarious about the interior design, and yuummii for the last picture there ;) )heads down!

  5. becca says:

    hahahahaha looool so true i LOVED THIS ARTICLE and much more the last picture…if he’s in our diet then im in :P keep up the gr8 work margo :D love youuuu

  6. Latisha says:

    I could read a book about this without finding such real-world approcaehs!

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