Relationship Status: In a RelationShiT

 

I’ve been trying to work on my style since I’ve been indicted for being aggressive! But the hell with it, I barely recognize myself, so if you feel offended or by any chance my aggressive language touches you, please feel free to close the window! You do know that no one’s forcing you to read my blog. Cheers.

Carrying on, this article is inspired by personal experiences with men as much as countless stories of my girlfriends’. I’m sure you all read articles about this matter, what’s different about this one is that I highlighted unique events that occurred many times but no one talked about. Since I gave up dating a while ago, I recently decided to give it another shot to see what’s out there and how much I’ve been missing on. The reason why I gave up dating is because I figured that, (judging by experiences, I repeat) men are all the same, without any exception! I’m very much aware of the danger of generalization, and how a writer should avoid it, hence how dare I generalize? Well, I broke the rules, sue me critic!

Dear Freud, let me just start by saying that NO, my anger towards this hideous fact is not due to the ‘penis envy’ I secretly have! I believe women are more powerful than men! Remember the apple? Yea we remember it too! Now answering your question on what do women want? It would be: A normal man! But wait, where did all the normal men go?! I know there’s more in life than just the subject of relationships, but ironically that’s the most interesting and common issue that concerns everyone. I’m not sure how much you agree with me but nowadays it’s impossible to find a man to share your moments with, trust and cherish. I think that’s due to the fact that everyone’s becoming so weird and aggressive! I mean think about it, we Lebanese people walk down the street as if we own it: “ Yo make some space I’m passing through!”We look so confident and arrogant that you need to buy a ticket and stand in line in order to talk to us! Look around, we’re surrounded by snobbish people trying to impress everyone either with the money they pretend to have or the uniqueness they wish they had; and by the end of the day, no one is truly satisfied, there’s ALWAYS something missing!!

U randomly meet a man, he seems normal, interesting and sometimes different. Give it a week and the mask will fall off and all is left to look at is his repulsiveness and the very bad manners he’s been raised on! Like calling you ‘babe’ just after you just met or trying to express how open-minded he is by complimenting some of your body parts, while you’re not sure you memorized his last name yet:

~Romantic dinner and you’re thinking: what the hell, I’ll give a shot; he seems like a gentleman, cute, educated and funny, then suddenly:

Woman: “The moon looks huge tonight”

Man:” Well, babe, that’s not the only thing looking huge, if you know what I mean (wink*)”

Woman:”Pardon me”!?

That’s sexual harassment dude! What the hell are you thinking! Do you expect a:”Yi khalaaas hihi” reaction?

Another awkward situation anyone is most likely to experience is when a friend wishes to break free from the ‘friends’ zone’ you’ve put him in! That’s when he starts to act weird, stupid and seeks out to come out funny but fails miserably!  For instance, you’re having dinner at a hotel’s restaurant with your friends and your ‘I want to break free’ friend is there. After a couple of drinks, he becomes irresponsible for his deeds, trying to put the blame on alcohol! I don’t get why men think that after a couple of drinks women will transform into the wild beast they crave for, so they allow themselves to seize the moment, like throwing a joke such as” so the food was fine, how about we try the rooms now, ha, what do you say, ha??(Again with the annoying wink)” of course he thinks, he’s funny and hoping for a positive response, but instead you pretend to lose the sense of hearing anything! Does he get it? Not really, he repeats again! That’s when you lose your temper and become irresponsible for whatever comes out of insults and offends!

Other than that, we all have brothers, cousins and at least one male best friend! Get in a room with bunch of men, they will be gossiping in a way like you’ve never seen any woman doing it; talking about girls, like objects: “El layle behke hayde w bokra haydik”! Yea picking the right pair of shoes for their night! How pathetic! And the worst part is when they start inventing scenarios that only occurred in their sick imagination, referring to women as whores and bitches! (I believe you should leave such insults for us, you’ll sound less gay!)

Man 1: “Yea I know her I f*cked her couple of time “
Man 2: “No kidding! I did too!”

And the next thing you know the girl they’re talking about doesn’t even have a vagina!

Note: Kindly, Grow up!

Another major thing that annoys me most is when your friend, wants to meet one of your girl friends (I’m sure you girls all suffer from the same thing):

Guy: Who’s that cutie in the picture with you?
You: My friend.
Guy: Introduce us!
You: Oh she’s married!
Guy: Heaven! Even better, I crave for married women, I just broke up with one, let’s fix a gathering tomorrow, say 8pm?
You: Euwww! Get a grip Juan el ghoul!

First of all, for the love of God, even if you’re our best friend and we adore you, this type of approaching shows nothing but how much you lack of your self confidence and how you can’t get a woman yourself! I don’t get why every time a Lebanese guy catches sight of a woman he gets an adrenaline rush and wants to meet her right away! Control-your-self! Statistically speaking and judging by the fact that we live in a country where every man amounts to 6 women, I think it’s about time you overcome yourself whenever you meet a woman! Don’t you think? Second, if you like someone and you try to get her jealous by showing interest in her friend; you’re on the wrong track love! It doesn’t work this way. The only thing we will be thinking of is how cheap and womanizer you are and that would only lead to: Lost of interest with a chair on your face!

Another annoying most common situation is when a man, in a ‘serious relationship’ hits on a single woman, using his favorite lines such as: “I’m lost!”, “I’m not convinced” or “the relationship is not going well”, of course next thing you know, he gets married to that same ‘I couldn’t stray from’ woman! Why does he do it? I’ll paraphrase using some of my male friends’ speeches regarding this matter:” you can’t eat banana for the rest of your life, there are so many other tasty fruits out there, don’t you agree? (Again with the annoying wink that I don’t really get)” Now, I don’t know who to blame first, the man for being such a low asshole or the girl for even considering such an approach! Here’s the sum up I came with: He’s definitely bored and not swayed by his girlfriend/wife who’s controlling him, yet he’s such a loser that he can’t break away!  Since his magic no longer works on her, he tries it on a bored single woman who has nothing to lose nor to gain! Where does drama occur? When this relationshiT lasts more than a month, and the stupid girl starts to believe the stupid lies from the’ half the man’ she’s falling for and loses it:

Girl 1: He will leave her! I know it!
Girl 2: wake up! They’re married!
Girl 1: So what he doesn’t love her!
Girl 2: But they’re expecting a baby!
Girl 1: You know, I think that’s why he was forced to marry her!
Girl 2: They’ve been married for 2 years!!!!!
Girl 1: So what! So she’s been pregnant for 2 years! What’s wrong with u!?

Destination: Deir El Salib

There’s also the ‘fils a Maman et Papa’ with insecurities issues, threatened by the other gender, can’t make up a decision without consulting his parents, even if it’s as simple as deciding on a t-shirt’s color, thus imagine what his relationshits would be like! Of course there’s also the angel coming from above, probably still a virgin in his 40s because he wants to give his flower for someone special! But who wants that either! I can’t really elaborate examples on that one because I believe for such men it’s really hard to get a date in the first place!

Basically, most single Lebanese men are either losers or sex indirect abusers or simply craving for all women! Makes me question the reason why our Lebanese men have lost it! And I can only think of two things:

Sexual repression: The mother made her child fear sex, stalking him like his shadow, stopping him whenever he tries to touch himself yet treating him like a prince, feeding him with a golden spoon so that he thinks he’s’ the man with the penis’ (The Undefeatable)! When her little repressed angel grows up and realizes how normal and common it is to have sex and the amount of the easy and cheesy women out there, he gets excessively excited that he still hasn’t gotten over it, not even in his 30th! Just like a fat kid with a cupcake in the hand! That facial excitement that I’m sure you women experience when a man is staring at you and you know exactly what’s going on in his head… and elsewhere!

Easy Cheap women: Those women have created a policy in their head that says: “You are my equal therefore I am to do exactly what you do! You cheat; I cheat, you sleep with a lot of women; I get to sleep with a lot of men, you treat us like crap; expect to be treated the same!” Since the approach to such easy women is trouble-free, men tend to generalize (as well) and consider all women alike! As much as I applaud the equality matter, regardless, it’s important to use it suitably! A woman remains a lady! Stop being the typical EVE with the poisoned apple! You’re turning into the snake in that myth!

As you can see, no I didn’t put all the blame on men, it would’ve been unfair. Still, it’s a shame that what’s left is nothing but male shapes with empty minds!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T: anyone familiar with this word anymore? Guess not!

I believe there’s a fine line between being a badass and a pervert!  The examples mentioned above are the most interesting ones I’ve selected between thousands of other similar stories. At last, dear men, bear in mind that unless we’re looking at such a picture in a magazine, when we’re so much aware that the stare on that hot guy’s face isn’t intentionally aiming at us, it’s disgusting and not sexy. At all! Please stop giving us similar looks and thank you!

Marguerite Rahal

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29 Comments

  1. Nadine says:

    Margooooo! Very nice article, I don’t think there’s someone who hasn’t been through at least one of the stories you mentioned! It’s very true! :)

  2. stephanie says:

    I actually thought what to write as a comment… but i found nothing to say i just laughed !…. the subject is very well highlighted in an ironic way so that it doesnt offend the reader who may feel concerned =D or it might a little … =P
    I enjoyed reading it big time!! (Y)
    Awiting u next article

  3. Elie says:

    hahahahahaha amazing margo :D
    glad you blamed girls a little too :P and ur last joke ! its crazy hahahaha :D

  4. stephanie says:

    Hahahahah.. So truuuuueeee marjjjj!!! Loooove ittt :)

  5. christelle says:

    i wonder if it’s possible for you to write a sequel :D very nice

  6. G. says:

    Lonely and bitter… It’s sad but oh well.

  7. soline says:

    well said marguerite, couldn’t agree more, u tackled this issue in a unique way !and that growth look they all have, its in their genes the” Y “(DOMINANT:p), courage :)

  8. SnakeEye says:

    Dear Marguerite,

    First i would like to thank you for sharing your article, but to be honest i disagree the way you approached us. :) Anyhow this is not the issue.

    The issue that i would like to comment on and I’m not “Mouhameh el Erjel”if i may say is that some of your points are true and some you showed us fully your weakness. Let me clarify:

    Point number one: Believing that woman are more powerful than men, this is your first mistake. This shows that you are snob (which u spoke about in your article). So “3efina” :) if i may say :) . No one is more powerful than the other.

    Point number two: You said “your not sure how much you agree with me but nowadays it’s impossible to find a man to share your moments with, trust and cherish. Well i would say “Sure”and Ïmpossible” are two big words. Be Sure and write your article based on it. Spare us with “Bullshit” if your not sure. and secondly, nothing is impossible in life. Nothing at all. My advice for all girls\men reading this article and commenting i would say it “If a men/girl are searching for the soul mate in a certain shit whole, then consider changing that whole. As simple as that.

    Point Number three: “U randomly meet a man, he seems normal, interesting and sometimes different. Give it a week and the mask will fall off……” Well same goes for the girls, give it less than an hour and you find out that she is only interested in the car you are driving and the amount you hold in your pocket. Even if “El Erd bi 3ayn emo ghazel”, who cares. And please,,, for goodness sake, don’t hide behind your fingure in this especially especially in Lebanon.

    Point Number Four: Fully agree on men gossiping point you mentioned and this is sooo much mean. Totally agree with you on that one. But also, don’t forget the girls talk inviting each other to take the 8 p.m friday night plan to abou dhabi for the weekend. The 2012 Range rover model for a 20 years old girl going to university is a bit weird when we hear and know about all this poverty in lebanon. If you know what i mean :)

    Point Number five: Those men speaking up to girls to gain the attention by saying “i’m lost, i’m not convinced” well actually men play it because they know how girls are sweet and tender. My comment will be girls are stupid enough to fall for that crap, and definetly men need to grow up. They need to get over it that they can’t feed from theie mother breast anymore :)

    Point Number Five: The issue “fils a maman et papa” is a very complicated issue. First the couple should know the limits to their parents. Here comes the maturity. At some point having a family surronding us is a blessing by itself. What makes us different here in lebanon is that some are really close to our families. Ya3neh kes el 3ara2 w el Hawilo darouriyin for a family gathering on sunday which is actually funny and unique for a foreigner traveller wishing to have similar gathering with his parents. :)

    Margo, to sum it up, in my training sessions i always tell the attendees “guys,if your strategy is not working, simply change it”. I already mentioned it above “If the shit whole your searching in is full then look into another whole” :) – This is especially for you -

    All the best and i hope i wasn’t rude to you in any way. :)

    SnakeEye

  9. George H says:

    So Marguerite goes out to a pub/night club, looks around and spots a good looking tall man with the right abs, cute hair, colored eyes etc… She smiles at him, he comes over and asks her out. Next thing she knows, all the above happens to her.
    WAKE UP MARGUERITE!!!!!!!!!! you missed the dude next to the handsome one who is shy because he’s bald, a little chubby but guess what? he also has a PhD in Aerospace Engineering/is very sweet/kind/will treat you like a queen and put you on a very high pedestal.
    PS: for the love of god, lay off the cliché “Lebanese people”. We have enough of other nationalities targeting us, we don’t need our own to do it too!!!!!!

  10. Margo says:

    @SnakeEye First, glad I got your attention SNAKEYE(seriously?) You replied using a female account (sandra) which got me confused at first since it sounded later on when you said ‘you approached us’ that you’re a man. Anyhow, rude? Not really… though it’s cute how you decided to analyze me (and failed miserably)!
    First point: I believe in equality, when I said that women are more powerful than men it was a reply to Freud’s ‘penis envy’ (obviously you don’t read between the lines. Literally.)
    Your second point was way too pointless up until you mentioned the ‘the shit whole’ which got my attention! Still, it will take another article to argue with you on that specific point.
    Third point: if I was a materialistic girl this article wouldn’t have existed in the first place! I’m not addressing materialistic girls hun, they’re doing just fine and trust me when I say, I bet they don’t agree with me! A materialistic girl would overlook sexual abuse, for instance, just because she’ll be swayed by the ‘package’ she’s with!
    Point No.4: read my point No.3
    Point No 5: exactly my point!
    Point No. 6: nothing’s wrong with family gatherings. I’m tackling the ‘fils a maman et papa’ (huge difference) It has nothing to do with what you wrote!
    “If your strategy is not working, simply change it”. There shouldn’t be a strategy to follow when it comes to relationships dear because that’s when it grows to be a relationshiT. What happened to the ‘be yourself and enjoy the moment’ i wonder!?
    Thank you for your comment and for analyzing me of course, it’s ironic when people tend to analyze each other when they never even met each other.
    Regards.

    @George H you do have a point(other nationalities targeting us), only i write out of personal experiences. I’m sorry if that happened to you, next time make sure you do something about it!
    P.S: Thank you for analyzing me, it’s making my day.
    Chill :)

  11. Selim says:

    Dear Marguerite,

    “Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me”

    If your experiencing the same thing with all the men your dating, then you should look for the reason, either your picking from the same bowl hoping that this person would be different!!, or you just need more experience to understand other people early on..

    Kel el 3alam fiya kheir w barake… you just need to choose well.

    Try to break your routine, if you always go to Kaslik try Hamra I am sure you will find some different people; akid be kel beit fi salon w oudit sofra w hemem… as long as you know the signs of a salon and you don’t keep falling for the WC..

    “Practice makes perfect”

    PS: Really like your ‘fils a maman et papa’ coment.

    Regards,

  12. George H says:

    @Margo, I do not have time to analyze you or anyone else! I like the “Chill:)” very american…you go girl!! you have a lebanese name so BE LEBANESE stop trying to emulate foreign bad writers/reporters.
    If you mean by “that happened to you” that I was ignored because I was chubby/bald, true it did happen but strangely it stopped happening when I started wearing designers clothes and got myself a brand new BMW and started smoking huge COHIBA. Tells you something about girls doesn’t it?
    Bottom line, be objective. There are bad men yes but there are equally as bad/worse women.

  13. Margo says:

    @Selim My article is based on credible facts that happened to me and my girlfriends. If I didn’t cover all types of men: salon, oudit sofra & WC (WTH) this article would’ve lacked support. It’s not only happening to me it’s happening to almost every single girl I know! Thank you for your weird comment.

    @George H The only comment I have is: you’ve got issues dear. Chill!

  14. George H says:

    @Margo: In the name of all the good men I want to invite you for dinner to prove to you that we still exist. If I am right, you change this blog. If I am wrong, and I am not, you can publish my picture as an example of a bad man. e-mail me your reply.

  15. Carole says:

    I loved your article. So true 100% of it, since I loved all these experiences as well !
    Don’t let these guys shake u. They are disconnected from reality ;)

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  21. George H says:

    I dared Margo to go out with me on a dinner. The aim is to prove her wrong. She didn’t reply. Well Margo, if you are writing just to write….DON’T.

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  26. Joyce says:

    Hey all,

    1st, lemme be clear about this : i am girl, Lebanese, who is not much into possessions and material stuff, even though i have all the capabilities and material means to live by them.

    Marguerite, you do have a point in what you said. However, let us face the fact that the problem does not only reside in Lebanese men. We do have to admit that what George said is 100% true.
    Come on! you and i, and other girls know that if a guy approaches a girl and he is not “handsome”, doesn’t have the perfect smile, nor a fit body, the girl checks his clothes: what brand he wears, what phone he has… and if he turns out to be the ordinary guy wearing let’s say Springfield jeans instead of Armani jeans, an ordinary polo with no brand and nice shoes, the girl would turn him down.
    I do see and hear what happens among girls in private, and i do know how they judge men.
    Let’s face it, the men that would physically attract you, and seem a nice catch are the TYPICAL players,(with exceptions of course, i don’t want to be generalizing). They have so much confidence, and believe that they have all the assets that would turn the girl blind.
    I do not blame them! True, most of the girls fall for appearances. This is where you girls are wrong. And this is what Selim said about girls searching in the same bowl.

    I hate to break the news to you, but the world – Lebanon – is full of nice guys who would treat their girls like princesses. Just know where to find them.
    I have more male friends than any girl would have, and i know all of them are nice, caring, sweet, and at the same time responsible, faithful, respectful and far from being Fils à Maman ou Papa…

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