Sex and the auda-City

Have you ever come to think about our contradictory, fake, paradoxical and stupid mentality in Lebanon? I think about it every second of everyday! Why? Because I’m always surrounded by sexually frustrated people! Yes, I’m about to discuss S*X! (Shame on me, I just said S*X!) If you talk about it out loud Lebanese people would stare at u as if you just murdered someone in front of their eyes! They might even call you names that if you look them up in the dictionary you’ll realize how silly the use of them is! I don’t quite understand why this subject has that much of a “Yi 3ayb” reaction on Lebanese knowing that everyone is quite active in private! Women, if you’re doing it better talk about it, if not just shut up! But doing it behind doors and pretending not to know what 69 means is sick! Men, yes you got the pen*s, woohoo, get over it already!! I’m not here to judge, I believe we’re all mature enough to know what we’re doing. I’m here to criticize the hilarious Lebanese mentality when it comes to this very very silly important subject! I mean, excuse me but which level of hell is this ?!

No one denies the fact that you need to respect the mentality of the society you belong to! Now, in some counties, they have laws regarding women’s personal life, Oh wait, but they don’t have any! I hope a virus hits those people that they stop giving birth and vanish from the universe. It’s literally frustrating! A whole different planet in which only retards live! Luckily for us we live in Lebanon, this beautiful democratic country. We are very religious and it’s quite fascinating, one of the reasons that make us proud to be Lebanese. We have values that we believe in, not because there’re forced upon us, but because they’re considerable. There are no imposed norms on how we plan on living our personal life, no one has the right to judge us but God, no one has the right to criticize our way of living but our parents because they’ll be doing it for our own good, no one has the right to offend us in any way, unless we let them do it and most importantly, no one has the right to live our life but ourselves!  !  Yet, Lebanese people tend to be so bored, they think they’ve been given the right to condemn, judge and point fingers! Everyone’s into everyone else’s business!

S*x before marriage is a sin! That’s all we’ve been told since we were 5, of course by ‘we’ I mean girls, as for u men, it’s is ironically ‘healthy’ , a need that your body requires because you men are human and we are not (?) When a mother learns that her son is getting some, she can’t help but tell the world about it “Yo2borne, he’s doing it, Rejjel” , but when it comes to the other gender, every girl knows this sentence by heart: “Hayda sharafik w sle7ik!” (Yes!! Didn’t you know that virgin girls are more powerful than Hesboullah!) when I hear this verdict, especially by my grandmother whom I adore and respect, I get hot under a collar, I wanna end the subject yet out of respect I have to shut my mouth and listen to the amusing observations that follow this idea. For instance,  the idea that my future husband will have a problem with that, although he gets to F*ck make love every hour, he would wanna marry “benet mish beyis temma gher emma” (as if he can find one) or the funnier explanation that I will lose people’s respect for me!

And the only thing that goes in my mind is the following: ARE YOU SERIOUSS!!

Of course that’s not the case anymore! Yes, our mentality luckily changed, but this congested sexual frustration we’ve been raised on is exploding in a terrible way! The new generation now is on a whole different level of thinking! They have a sexual energy they don’t know how to control that it can take a toll on their mental health. They are overly-exposed to s*x but they don’t fully understand how to deal with it. They‘ve been given freedom without a dim awareness that they got it all wrong! Their sexual education at school nowadays does nothing more than confuse them because teachers are not comfortable discussing this subject . Curiosity leads to p*rn and that’s where it all slips out of hands.

For you mothers of this generation, I hope you don’t end up doing the same mistake by making your child fear S*x and Abou Kees! Those days should be over! You are required to talk about it, it’s a must, just do it right, and make him/her believe in it reasonably! Don’t make it seem like a taboo because the minute they break free they mess it up big time!

If you’re talking to your girl, please explain to her that being a virgin is not owning a weapon; no she will not take over Israel by it! It’s nothing but a personal power towards herself, it’s a respect for one’s own body. It’s  an experience, similar to all experiences in life, but it shouldn’t be done foolishly. It’s so delicate; it can bring her down and mess up her feelings.

If you’re talking to your boy, please explain it to him that s*x won’t make him look ‘2aweh’ in society and there’s nothing hot about being a “Don Juan”, it’s more manly when he does it without telling the world about it nor bragging about the amount of girls he did it with! Kindly, put some emphasis on the idea that it’s different from play station, it’s not a game therefore it shouldn’t be done whenever he feels like it. The act requires two people. If he’s not doing it with a wall, he might consider that the girl he’s doing it with has feelings!

Here’s Some Facts:

Dear men, no we’re not ho-es and you’re not Casanovas either, so stop acting like it. We don’t appreciate it when the only subject you’re good at is our body and how you can make us ‘experience what we’ve never experienced before’ (Easy tiger!). We don’t want you to teach us what you learned on your personal intimate websites; fantasize about it as much as you want, alone, in your room! Maameltein is the place where you don’t even bother explain what you want, visit it more often and keep your frustrating odd imagination away from us. We know you’re getting some, we do, so it’s annoying when you tend to explain, on the first date, how important s*x is for you and how efficient you think it’ll be for the relationship. If a girl has some brains, she would only assume that you wana sleep with her and you’re not interested in anything else. Pull it together a while, a month or two maybe, without bringing out the word s*x. You’re a grown up now and we’re not your mother, we won’t go like “my boyfriend Rejjel, he’s done it 1,236 times” on the contrary, we would accidently lose your number and stop bothering reading your messages!

Dear women, spreading your legs with a man you met no longer than 5 minutes won’t make him desire you more nor daydream about you, you’ll be looked at as easy & cheesy. You know you won’t enjoy it either! I’ve seen it a billion times, independent women doing foolish things just because they feel like it, those who think of themselves as open minded and in control end up depressed as hell! If you’re looking for some attention, try it apart from your b**bies and v*gina.. your brain perhaps? You always wonder why a man cools off and starts acting distant after you get intimate with him? Well, here’s some dose of reality, s*x for men is not an act of love and devotion, it’s simply s*x for s*x’s sake! Can you live with that? You’re already raised in a sexually frustrated society so it will end up badly for you! You want the relationship, love and affection because you’re programmed this way! Unless you know what you’re doing avoid it and avoid the depression that will follow it! You’re watching too many foreign movies. In Western societies s*x is normal, why? Because unlike here it’s not a taboo, it’s not perceived as a perversion! If a woman sleeps with a stranger, it normal, it meant nothing, end of story. If a Lebanese woman sleeps with a stranger she’d be expecting a wedding ring the second day with a fairy tale proposal!  When he vanishes she freaks out and make sure he understands that: “Ana mish heik, please don’t tell anyone!!!” Don’t watch and imitate, the stupid Lebanese mentality is still not ready for such openness.

The Lebanese mentality’s so confusing, everyone’s torn between what to do and what not to do, men would tell women exactly what they wana hear in order to sleep with them , they want a p*rn star in bed and a lady in society, women crave for love and attention, they give up their morals and beliefs to please the other gender! That’s ignorance at its best ! Sexual education should be more recognizable at early ages because the young generation is already exposed to s*x, it will give them basic information and add to their existing knowledge the whys and hows, correcting any misinformation they have! For you girls, don’t do it just to prove to yourself that you’re strong and independent, you can prove that in other fields. Unless it’s with the right person, it’s not worth it!! Looking like a bimbo and pretending you’re an angel is also unacceptable! You’re the reason men take you for granted and allow themselves to act low! If you don’t want to give the wrong impression, check with your mirror before you get out of your house! As for you men, when you get intimate with a woman make sure you keep it to yourself. Unfortunately bored Lebanese people won’t give a damn about you; they’ll automatically skip to the assumption of how much of a b*tch she is! Impress us with your achievements and ambitions not with your magic st*ck and make sure you treat all women like ladies. We’re not interested in knowing your sexual history unless the relationship is getting serious. That’s when we will ask, so don’t worry you’ll get a chance to brag about it! S*x is a personal decision, whether you choose to do it before marriage or not, it’s up to you and only you. Just make sure you do when you’re ready, keep it decent not vicious. Lebanese’s attitude regarding s*x will never evolve unless people stop being fakers and pretenders. Somebody has got to put an end to this corrupted mentality.

Marguerite Rahal

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